Fresh out of law school, Julie can’t wait for her life to begin. Ever since she was a little girl she was certain about her future. She had no doubt she’d always get good grades. She knew she wouldn’t only graduate high school, but she’d also go to college and become successful. She planned on meeting Mr. Right during her college years, and, if things went her way, she’d be engaged by the time she graduated. After that she’d work no more than four or five years before having her first child. She’d want to be well on her feet and established in her career before bringing a child into this world. Her husband would also be a college graduate, and eager to have kids, as well.
That was Julie’s plan, and unlike most of her friends, her plan is still on track. Her boyfriend of almost a year, Mitch, proposed on graduation eve as she was settling in for the evening. She was wearing an eye mask and just got done smearing her face with night cream when he came into the room. With the cool May night air coming in through the sheer curtains, he got down on one knee and presented her with a ring. Julie started crying behind her eye mask as she said yes. Perfect, right? She was engaged by graduation.
True, Mitch isn’t what she always pictured, but she’s spent the last 11 months (seriously, like right after they met, she started grooming him for marriage) telling everybody that she didn’t mind being the breadwinner of the family. She also said that he didn’t mind, and that was hard to find (implying most men would be jealous of her large paycheck). I suppose it’s true. I mean I read an article about it in Cosmo once. But when she stated this fact to me, I remember wondering if she was trying to convince me... or herself.
Mitch didn’t graduate college. It’s only a slight blemish to her perfect plan, because he can always go back to college. And if it meant having her plan, Julie was willing to put him through on her dime once she was a big-time lawyer.
If you want my opinion she saw that it was getting down to the wire. And, unless she wanted to spend more years in school chasing another degree, Mitch was her last ditch effort on not settling for less than she thought she deserved. And she deserved that rock and that wedding. She’d worked very hard on that.
They met on a dating website, flirted over the phone, went on a date or two, and the next thing you knew she was no longer available to do anything unless it included Mitch. There were the occasional nights when he had to work late (and she could sneak away with her girlfriends), but after a couple of months even those disappeared. For the last 11 months, my friend Julie has been virtually non-existent in my world.
When they first met she tried diligently to keep her girlfriends in her life. She really thought she could do it. She made attempt after attempt to have a social life that somewhat resembled the carefree life she had before meeting Mitch, but it never worked. He’d text her constantly, or call her and pick a fight whenever she was out without him. She’d either be talking to him all night, or in a pissed off mood and not having a fun time at all. Eventually every time she came out, he had to be with her. And that whole time I never saw him pay for a single drink.
She bought a new car, and he got her old one. She took him out for dinner a lot, and she was constantly staying at his place, which was nearly 50 miles away.
One night after partying with Laura, a friend of mine and Julie’s, she drunkenly confessed something to me. She had it on good authority that Julie and Mitch had recently gotten a credit card together. One of their first items bought on it was an 800 dollar suit for him. Laura asked me point blank, "Do you think he’s using her for her money and future money she’s going to make? Because, I kind of think he is."
I honestly couldn't say yes or no. I knew how badly Julie wanted to be married, and I knew how much she said she loved him. But I also knew that Laura wasn't the kind of person who liked to judge people or take a side. She always wanted to be the mediator. She often referred to herself as Switzerland... neutral on all subjects on which people might get upset. So for her to come to me with such a sensitive subject as this, knowing my strong opinions of men I, myself, hold dear, was quite shocking. I sat up and took notice. She was really, genuinely concerned. Worst of all, she feared that Julie might not really love him, but has convinced herself that she has.
At Julie’s graduation party, Laura and I exchanged glances as the happily newly engaged couple announced that they were closing on a house in Mitch’s home town. That’s when I knew I’d lost Julie. From that point on I’d only see her on special occasions, and I’d only hear from her via email or phone once a month. Julie, I fear, has officially been friend-napped.
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