I’ve never been in a physical fight. When I fight, I use my words. Being a writer I like to think I have a pretty good vocabulary (there’s always room for growth), and I tend to use words that will cut right to somebody’s core.
Also, for some reason, people always confide in me and I know a lot of deep dark secrets. God help the person who really crosses me and is looking for a confrontation. Because, if I’m left unchecked I will pull out those deep dark secrets and throw them in their faces. I usually only do this, though, as a defense mechanism. Somebody has to hit me below the belt before I’ll reciprocate those actions.
When Nola and I had our argument that night I moved out three years ago, I hit below the belt with my words. Beyond that, I can only think of one time I pulled information out of a file I promised to keep confidential. It was with my ex boyfriend after he told me he had hoped I would get mad when he was making out with Julie after we broke up.
I told him he doesn’t deserve two women fighting for his attention until he becomes a man worthy through his actions. Then I brought up the child he doesn’t support (and refused to admit actually belonged to him), and another dark event from his past to prove my point. He cried. I walked away and left him to cry alone. I told you... I fight verbally.
No matter how angry I get, though, I don’t think I’ll ever throw a punch. Beyond that, I don’t think I’ll ever emotionally abuse somebody just to keep them down. I don’t believe in tearing others down in order to feel better about yourself. If you’re in a confrontation and things get heated, that’s one thing, but to constantly remind somebody of their faults is a sin with a hefty fine.
I love my friends, and I’ll do anything for them. I have a mamma bear instinct that makes me want to protect those I love even if they don’t think they need protecting. This is the instinct that kicked in when Jenn called me last week and confirmed the fears Julie, Laura and I have had about her ex-fiancé all along. He’s been beating her.
Jenn was drunk when she told me, and then said she’d never had told me when she was sober.
Her ex still lives with her because of a strained financial situation. In a perfect world we’d all be able to pick up and go when things got rough, but that’s a luxury not all of us can afford.
She still has to live with his ridicule. He tells her she’s ugly, fat, and unlovable (all of which aren’t true). He tells her that she made a poor career choice, and she should do something that makes more money.
He still tries to control her. If she has a date and it doesn’t go well he uses it as proof that she won’t find anybody else to love her the way he did (let’s only hope).
Anybody who raises their hand to somebody else deserves to be ass-raped. Anybody who uses tactics of control over those they supposedly love doesn’t deserve to find love or be in love. Any body who uses physical violence to make a point is obviously unintelligent and needs to be re-educated on how to handle themselves when they have a problem.
This guy needs anger management, and he better hope he never sees me face to face again. I’ll tear off his balls and show them to him. Treat my friends with respect, or you’ll have the same fate.
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