The Return of Nola

Imagine the loudest friend you have. Imagine the most inappropriate friend you have. Imagine the most promiscuous friend you have. And also imagine the one friend you’ve seen naked most frequently. Roll all those into one and you have Nola.

I’ve known Nola as long as I’ve known my other friends (Julie, Felix, Nameless Roommate, Laura, Jenn.. the whole gang). The only difference between Nola and the rest is that I haven’t spoken to Nola in over a year. Well, I didn’t speak to her until last week, that is.

In true Nola fashion, she popped back into my life out of the blue. After a hiatus because of something I wrote about her on a blog (gasp), Nola decided to return as if she weren’t ever angry at me. The blog was a mirror... a mirror she didn’t want to look into. She didn’t like seeing the truth spelled out for her (as most people don’t).

Nola used to live with me. Back when I lived in a sprawling metropolis (my one attempt at city life), Nola, her boyfriend at the time, and I co-habitated together. Things ended badly when she tried to pawn my cat off to somebody else while I wasn’t home one day. Screaming ensued, and, like most fights, it wasn’t just about the cat. I moved out that night at 3 o’clock in the morning. We didn’t speak for three months until her boyfriend broke up with her (called it) and she came back home to small town life.

Once upon a time Nola was the life of the party. She was known for wearing her bra on her head and flashing her tits for everybody to see. She went through a spell where she swore she was a lesbian (or at least bi-sexual), but I think she only said that so she could sleep with women and not count them in her total number of people she’s fucked. She was always the drunkest, the loudest and the most emotionally disturbed member of the social crowd. And every time she moved away (lost count), she left a dent in the dynamic of the group.

Julie never liked her (shocker), and Jenn didn’t care much for her either. Laura loved her and still does. Felix thought she was awesome but could only handle her in small doses. Most people can only handle her in small doses.

If you’re going to hang out with Nola, there’s a few things you need to be prepared for. First of all, you’ll learn WAY too much about her sex life, her former sex life and her fantasies. Second of all she’ll reveal too much about her home life. She’ll tell you about her financial situation, as well. She’s an open book. Really, she’s an open book on tape and you’ll hear it read out loud whether you want to or not.

She’s funny, though. She always has me laughing. We feed off of each other’s energies, and sometimes the funny comebacks turn into bitchy squabbling. From an outsider’s point of view we look like two bitches going at it, but we both know when it’s joking and when it’s serious. And when it’s serious, look out. Hiroshima had nothing on us.

During our hour long conversation last week, she told me a few things that shocked me. For one, she’s engaged. Her days of sleeping around are over, it seems. Two, she’s in AA. She’s been sober for a year and a half. Her days of wearing her bra on her head are also over, it seems. Three, she’s forgiven me for writing that blog about her (just wait until she hears about this one... shut up, Laura). She supports my idea of writing a book about my friends, but she wants to make sure I clear it with her before I publish anything about her. I hope I can stick to that.

All in all, I’ve missed her presence in my life, but I’m leery about letting her in again. It seems she’s cleaned up her act, but back in the day she was on a path of destruction. I guess she finally got tired of destroying herself.